The 1 thing i dont get about football.

Im not really a football fan, but i dont get how fans can expect players to be passionate about the club they're playing for. I mean, fans are loyal. They support a club from birth till death, but players aren't like that. At the end of the day, the players go where the money is (Most of them anyway) and change clubs a few times in their career, and thats why i think the passion for making the club a success has been replaced by the passion for making as much money as possible.

30 days song challenge: day 1. My favourite song.

I have 2 favourite songs.
1. Birdhouse in your soul: They Might be Giants.
I love the lyrics and the fact you think its just a random song about nothing, but its actually a very meaningful song (I think so anyway).
2. Empire in my Mind: The wallflowers.
I love the lyrics to this song too. Whenever i hear this song, i always end up singing along to it.

The 30 days song challenge.

Ive heard a lot about this recently on facebook and in forums so i have decided to do the 30 days song challenge via my blog :-) so my next post will be my favourite song.

I need to be more domesticated.

Ive been looking at kitchen stuff recently and im like 'what's that for? '. I do half the cooking at home, but i admit i know how to cook about half a dozen things. I have to get some recepie ideas and try them out sometime. Luckilly for me, My mum has loads of cookery books so i will look through them for some inspiration.

Is it me or is tv getting worse?

Seriously, i can remember when i could watch about 8 hours tv non stop and now i watch about 3 hours non stop in the evenings and if im in during the day, about an hour then. Maybe its because i dont have sky anymore, but i really do think terrestrial/freeview channels programming is getting worse. Then again, we got rid of sky because we only watched a few of the shows, and realized how much money we were wasting a month :-( well, at least i have more 4 and fiver and five USA. And dvds.

The one thing nobody knows about me...

Until now that is lol. I write song lyrics. I used to write poems a long time ago, but then i started writing song lyrics. I dont play any instruments or read music, but i have melodies in my head when i write the lyrics. Its a way for me to express how im feeling about things happening in my life.

Insecurity.

Usually if im feeling insecure about something i will admit to it, and try to reason things out. But i cant do that with everything, especially when it involves other people. I know i am being stupid. The other person will know im being stupid, but still theres a little voice in my head that wont shut up. I will try to ignore that voice. After all, Insecurity isn't an attractive feature in a girl.

Wasgij puzzles

Ive never had much patience for doing jigsaws. I remember when i was younger, i was given a dog puzzle and after struggling for about 20 minutes with it, i gave up and my Grandma finished it. But i love Wasgij puzzles. I think its because of the cartoon/ humour theme that i like them. It takes me forever to do one, and i haven't tried a 1000 piece one yet (My mum makes them in 3 days) but one day i will try.

addicted to brain training games.

I have 4 brain training games on my mobile, and i make sure that i play them everyday. I love the ' brain age' part of the games, except whenever i get a low score on a game i enjoy, the next day i get a game im crap at and my brain age goes back up again lol. At least on the chart, in the profile bit, the lines only go up, not down lol. I may never be a member of mensa, but i am determent one day i will get a brain age of 20 in every game i play. I dont care how long it takes me.

Newspaper Agony Aunts.

I admit it. I have a guilty pleasure: reading problem pages in newspapers. It's the first thing i read in a newspaper. I love the outrageousness of the letters. Some of them could put soap operas to shame. I actually wrote to 'dear Deidre' once. I did get a reply but my letter didn't get published. why did i write? i had a problem and i felt i couldn't talk to anyone about it, and i did get advice, but i still think half the letters have to be made up.

Gateshead college ( the old one)

I wonder if there's plans for the old Gateshead College building. I went there and i have a few good memories of the place (and a few i'd rather forget) and it makes me a little sad to think that the place is just being left derelict. There was talk of it being turned into aparments but that never happened. Its such a shame that the college didn't actually have a use for it. It wasn't the best building in the world but it wasn't the worst either.

My town's 'town centre'

I use the term 'town centre' very loosely. It consists of 4 card shops, 2 chemists, 1 launderette, 2 betting shops ( 3 doors down from each other), 1 newsagents and endless take aways and hair salons. We dont even have a supermarket. It closed 2 years ago and since then we have to go out 'out of town' to get a loaf of bread and a pint of milk.

Tv shows everyone loves and i just dont get.

1. Brothers and sistets. I am a Calista Flockhart fan thats why i watch the show, but i dont love it.
2. The Sopranos. I found it a bit boring.
3. The Wire. Again, i didn't find it very interesting.
4. Band of brothers. I just didn't watch it.
5. Six feet under. I have a 'thing' about death and i just found it a bit depressing.
6. Sons of Anarchy. Doesn't really interest me.
7. Doctor who. Too 'sci-fi' for me to understand lol.

Unemployment.

I know unemployed people have a bad reputation, and some of them deserve it, but were not all like that. I hate being unemployed. I apply for, on average, 10 jobs a week and i dont even get replies back most of the time. I am experienced in admin/retail work, but i have applied for other types of work. I keep getting told that im 'too qualified' for waitressing/bar work as they dont think id stay in the job too long, so its always 'thanks but no thanks'.

Card making.

Its a hobby i enjoy doing. Granted the writing may be slightly uneven and not quite straight, but so what? I enjoy making cards and expressing myself, and they may not be up to the 'selling standards' but i dont care. I have no plans to sell them at the moment, but the more cards i make, the better i will get (hopefully) so who knows? one day i may just make perfect cards that i could sell that people will love.

The reasons i love my boyfriend.

He's smart and funny. He can be a little 'scatty' at times but i love that about him too. He's supportive of me. He takes care of me and i take care of him. He makes me feel secure and beutiful and sexy and confident. He makes me so happy. I love how he's a bit 'old fashioned', holding doors open for people and he treats me like a princess (which i love) and he worries about me, which is sweet. He is, by far, the best boyfriend ive ever had, and he is the only man that i ever want or need.

Films.

Whenever there's a film i think 'oh that looks good, i wanna see that' more often than not i end up thinking the movie is crap. Also i dont seem to like movies everyone else seems to like (for example: Titanic, Shakespeare in love, Avatar) and i seem to like movies everyone else hates. Maybe i should watch some of the movies my boyfriend suggests to me. They may not all be 'my kind of movies' but i may enjoy some of them. I never know until i watch them.

I wish winter was over.

I really wanna wear my cute little skirts and dresses but i cant. Its too cold :-(. Even when i wear black tights i still feel cold. Maybe its because i feel cold really easily. I am also bored of wearing boots, but because its too frosty/ icy to wear heels i wear boots. The only good thing about winter is that i get to wear my chunky cardigans which i adore.

5 old tv shows i love.

1. The Avengers. I wanted to be Mrs. Peel growing up.
2. Hill Street Blues. I got into it watching re_runs.
3. Crime Story. I was hooked by the end of the first episode i watched.
4. St. Elsewhere. A lot of actors i love are in this show. I also loved the quirky end.
5. Columbo. I love columbo, one of my favourite tv detectives ever.

5 not well known tv shows i loved.

1. Mysterious Ways. A professor and a psychologist investigate paranormal activity.
2. Big Apple. The FBI and NYPD team up to investigate a murder the mob may be involved in.
3. Da Vinci's inquest. A canadian police drama about a coroner.
4. Strong medicine. Medical drama about 2 female doctors who work in a women's clinic.
5. Players. 3 ex cons work for the FBI. Ice T played one of the ex cons.

Why do weird people wanna be my friend?

I dont set out to attract weird people. I think they set out to attract me. I was raised to be nice to people, but theres a big difference between being nice and being interested. Just because i say hello when you walk past me in the street doesn't mean i fancy you. I have a boyfriend who i actually fancy so yes, i do mind if you just call around one night. I think its time to get tough on people who just wont take 'no' for an answer.

Home and Away.

I really thought that once Martha and Hugo left then the storyline would end. After all whenever any other character leaves, they are barely mentioned again, but not this time. The Martha/Hugo storyline refuses to end. I dont think it is ever gonna end. I think that in 10 years time the main story will be Hugo and Martha. Enough already. I cant be the only one bored with it. Also how much of a b!tch is Ruby turning into? I am really starting to hate her too.

Trolley rage.

I dont know why but everytime i go shopping in Asda i feel 'trolley rage'. Maybe its because the Asda near me is tiny, and two people cant walk up the same aisle together. I also hate the fact that if you have a trolley but only have a couple of items, you cant use the self service checkout, you have to stand in a big queue and you cant even use the 'ten items or less' checkout cos you have a trolley :-(. ok rant over *deep breath* :-).

Why i cant wait to move out.

I get to live with my boyfriend, that is the main thing. I get to have my own little place. I also am starting to hate my home town. A lot. There's no decent shops and the part of the town i live doesn't even have a proper bus. And now my friends idiotic mate has moved 5 minutes away from me has just made me wanna pack up now. Im feeling down because i really wanna live with my David and thats why i hate everything about my town: he doesnt live there.

Why i hate terraced houses.

I live in one. I have done all my life and i hate the fact the walls are paper thin. Its like you have no privacy. The fact that you can hear the people next door have a conversation proves my point. I just wanna live in a house where i can chill out without having to worry if the tv/music is too loud or loud enough to cover the people next doors tv/ music. And also whenever the people next door close a kitchen cupboard door, the noise vibrates onto our wall. Oh the joys of council housing :-(.

do i or dont i?

I have had an idea. I have no idea where to even start with said idea. I know one person who may be able to help me out with said idea. The problem? he's the one person i dont wanna ask for help. We have 'history' and i know for a fact that he will think 'coffee and a chat' will mean 'date'. Plus the fact that he and i didn't end very well doesn't help the situation. Ok i will look on the internet and try to find what i need there and then if that fails, he will be my last choice.

Taggart

Im not loving the revamp. I dont like the new theme :-( I prefered the old instrumental one. Also I hate that they got rid of Stuart. Granted he was underused but still...And I dont like the new boss woman. I dont want her to get rid of Burke. It took me years to come to terms Jardine had left. And im a Robbie/ Jackie 'shipper' so im not loving the idea Jackie is seeing someone (Ive read a spoiler for the next episode). Apart from the above, I like everything else about the show lol.

More random facts about me.

1. I collect 'Hello Kitty' things.
2. I have never been camping.
3. I love the colour pink.
4. I had to have speach therapy when i was a kid.
5. I am addicted to brain training games.

Random facts about me.

1. Ive lived in the same house all my life.
2. I wanted to be a fashion designer growing up.
3. My dream job now would be to become an author.
4. I love writing very short stories, fan fictions and romance stories.
5. My favourite songs ever are they might be giants 'birdhouse in your soul' and the wallflowers 'empire of my mind'.
6. My favourite food ever is chocolate.
7. My favourite tv show is Monk.
8. Ive never been abroad.

My top 5 sci fi shows.

1. Stargate SG1. I miss it :-(
2. X Files. The first sci fi show i watched and loved.
3. Mutant X. Yes i was the person who liked/ watched it.
4. Smallville. I am a bit lost with the older season's but i loved the first few.
5. Sanctuary. I love it because usually an actor from the stargate universe appears in it.

My top 5 favourite films.

I have a 'unique' taste in films. I thought that i would share my top 5.
1. Cube. I love the claustrophobic / paranoia vibe.
2. Gentlemen prefer blondes. Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell are fantastic in this.
3. Quiz Show. I knew about the scandal before i watched it and afterwards i googled all the people involved. I wanted to know more lol.
4. Brief encounter. An oldie but i love this movie. Always makes me cry.
5. Some like it hot. Its funny and sad too. And Marilyn Monroe looks fantastic.

The tv show neighbours.

I love 'neighbours'. I also hate 'neighbours'. I hate how stupid the storylines are (the never ending Rebecca/Paul storyline for example). I also hate how the characters act at times. But ive watched the show ever since i was a little girl and a big part of me doesn't wanna give up on the show. I will keep on watching and hoping that one day it will start to not annoy me anymore.

Restraunts/ Coffee shops.

Why dont some of them have menu's to inform you of what they do. I mean, would it be too much trouble to put a sign up with what food they do. Are we meant to be psychic? and what about people with food allergies? if the place doesn't have a menu then you have to be told what there is, its annoying to have to stop the assistant every two minutes to ask whats in the food. By the way i dont have food allergies but a friend of mine does and she has this problem a lot. Rant over lol.

Top 5 Make up products i cant live without.

1. Miss Sporty kohl eyeliner. My favourite eyeliner.
2. Bodycare waterproof Mascara.
3. Nivea lip balm. Great for chapped/ dry lips.
4. Collection 2000 nail polish. Im cheating a bit here cos i dont have a favourite shade, i love them all.
5. Collection 2000 Hotlights lip gloss. Shade 5.

My top 5 favourite albums ever.

This is probably gonna be the geekiest list ever lol.
1. They Might Be Giants. An introduction: I love every single song on this album.
2. Barenaked Ladies. Stunt: Again i love every song on the album.
3. The Overtones. Good ol' fashioned love: I love singing along to this.
4. Vonda Shepard. Its good eve: Beatiful, meaningful lyrics.
5. Lady Gaga. The fame monster: Good to dance and sing along to, and also has some fantastic songs on it. I love Speechless and eh-eh (nothing else i can say).

Music

I feel old. I watch 4 music and listen to the 'top 40' and i admit i dont know who half the artists are. I used to know every song in the charts when i was growing up and now im like ' who is this person?' lol. And also the songs seem to sound similar. Seriously i can only name about a dozen chart acts at the moment. Maybe im clueless because i listen to a lot of 'uncool' music, but if the stuff i keep hearing is 'cool' then i'll stay with my 'unique, uncool but listenable' music.

My top 5 style icons.

People who's style i love.
1. Marilyn Monroe: Feminine and sexy without ever being trashy.
2. Audrey Hepburn: The most sophisticated woman ever.
3. Diane Kruger: I love her classy red carpet style.
4. Pixie Lott: She always looks amazing.
5. Dannii Minogue: She always looks beatiful and amazing. And i love the dresses she designed.

My favourite TV detectives

I love watching crime shows. I like trying to figure out who the killer is lol. These are my top 5 tv detectives.
1. Adrian Monk (Monk) - Monk is my favourite show ever.
2. Colombo - love how he pretends to be dumb to catch the killer off guard.
3. Bobby Goren ( L&O Criminal Intent) - He's quirky and unpredictable.
4. Steve Sloan (Diagnosis Murder) - I grew up watching Diagnosis Murder.
5. Patrick Jane (The Mentalist) - He breaks rules and can be rude and insensitive at times but he always solves the case.

CSI:NY

So third episode into the new season and i gotta admit that im not really getting the Sela Ward character. I think she's a really good actress but i loved the character of Stella and the chemistry her and Mac had. I liked how different Stella and Lyndsey were and i just cant help but think that the 2 female characters on the show are too similar in personality (in my opinion anyway).

I cant believe i eventually found love.

Ive had bad luck with men in the past, but now i am in a loving, healthy relationship. My boyfriend is sweet and kind and he treats me like im a princess. He makes me feel like im the only girl in the world and he makes me feel special. He's supportive of me and listens to me when im moody and i need to vent my anger. He never complains when i drag him out shopping and he always buys me lunch (and lets me pick where we go). In my eyes he's the 'perfect' guy for me and im not afraid to say i love him.

dont be afraid to try

I believe if you really want something badly enough then you should try and get it. Yeah you might not suceed but, then again, you just might. You never know what the outcome may be. You have to take chances otherwise you never get anywhere, and whats the worse that can happen? at least if you try and it doesn't work out you can always say you tried. At least trying and failing is better than never trying at all.

I still have bad days.

Someday's i wanna hide away from the world but whenever i feel like that i make it a pampering day. I have a long bath, and then i put on my favourite clothes and make up and i have me time. I watch dvds or write or listen to cds. After a couple of hours of chilling out i feel much better and ready to face the world. Im lucky i have my mum and my boyfriend who both support me and are there for me whenever i need them.

I also found this technique helpful

Whenever you feel anxious take a deep breath, close your eyes and imagine a big 'STOP' sign in your mind. Keep focusing on the stop sign and keep breathing slowly and deeply. Keep doing this until you feel more in control and you are feeling less anxious. The idea is you focus on the stop sign stops you from focusing on the anxiety.

Positive Affrimations

I was taught by a tutor of mine about Positive Affrimations. It involves making eye contact with yourself in a mirror ( it is a bit weird at first ) and telling yourself positive things. So, for example, i would say (aloud) 'my name is Dawn and i am confident. My name is Dawn and i am worthy of love. My name is Dawn and i will suceed' and this actually worked for me. The idea is you do this first thing on a morning and last thing at night and limit the list to 5 things at any one time.

My 'life rules'

1. Accept that i am not perfect. nobody is.
2. Accept that not everyone can like me.
3. To do 'positive affrimations' daily.
4. To not let anyone put me down.
5. To be proud of what ive accomplished in my life.
6. People tell me that im pretty and i will believe that i am.
7. I will not take rejection personally.
8. I will be nice to people but i wont be a pushover.
9. I will stand up for what i believe in.
10. I will step out of my comfort zone and do things that scare me.

It wasn't just confidence i had a problem with.

I had low self esteem and i thought i was fat and ugly and unlikeable. I didn't like guys looking at me ( i thought i looked hideous) and i didn't wear make up and i wore baggy jumpers. It was a friend who told me that i had to believe in myself and that nobody could love or respect me until i loved and respected myself and i had to change my opinion of myself and start realizing that i was worthy of love and respect.

what would Helen do?

Helen was a girl i knew who was always smiling and really bubbly and everyone liked her. She was the person i wanted to be like. I decided i was gonna be like her. I had to stop being scared and start living my life. I was terrified but i did it. I started small. Going into shops by myself and saying 'thanks, bye' to the shop assistants while someone waited for me outside. And then saying 'thankyou' to bus drivers getting off the bus. I was starting to become confident.

My first steps to the new me

I was refered to a womans group for an assertiveness course. It was fine but after a couple of weeks i realised that sitting around chatting wasn't really my thing. Also most of the other women there were mothers and married and i felt left out and alone. Again. I had to think what did i wanna do with my life and who did i wanna be and, more important, what did i have to do to be that person? I knew what person i wanted to be like and i decided i would aim to be like her.

Im happier than ever :-)

I used to be shy. Very shy. Even going out alone used to make me have a panic attack. I was a wreck. It got so bad that eventually my mum made me go and see a doctor. He explained to me that I had low confidence and may even have a social anxiety disorder. I felt like i would never be 'normal' and that it would take forever. But it was something that i wanted to do. I wanted to be 'normal' and it did take a long time but i am very happy now with who i am.

Im going to update from now on.

I forgot i had this account lol anyway i am going to post reguarly from now on. I promise. I will also make them more exciting than this one. I just wanted to know i will update. ok thats me done boring you for now lol xx